I’ll Stick To Loving Rhett Butler

I’ll Stick To Loving Rhett Butler

“I’ve had it with the blowjobs,” I say on face time to Janet Frumpkin. She’s a dog walker about 75, real New York. Chic. Fun. So we’re rapping about zooming with men during the pandemic. That the men are all home and available.

“All morons,” she says, with a sigh.

“Still rats. I’ve had it. I’d rather read about romance than have it,” I add. “All the fucking years sucking the diamond dealer’s tiny balls while he hocked not to bite — -So I have an overbite — it wasn’t easy.”

“All the years I blew my rich husband’s thing he called a penis and as soon as he died his rotten kids are suing me for elder abuse because they want the friggin money. They won. All those blowjobs were a waste. Stick to bananas. It’s potassium. The balls are like sugarless gum and get you nothing.”

“Well, this pandemic can make you nutty. Gotta stay positive,” I say.

“Even during the pandemic on zoom, half the men are sickos. Yet women bring them food, expose their VJS on Zoom, do anything to have a man. What’s wrong with us?”

“Women need to identify their power. Stop thinking, internalizing they need a man. It’s an ancient proverb, a woman without a man is nothing. A woman without a man doesn’t get a good table in a restaurant. All that hogwash our poor mothers taught us. Women at any age, forty or ninety, or a hundred, need to love ourselves. At 97, my Aunt Gloria sold her soul to be with this bossy, half dead hundred-year-old ex-actor at the nursing home. The women were fighting over him.”

“Who needs it? I’ll stick to loving Rhett Butler.”

Barbara Rose Brooker/author/latest novel Love, Sometimes, published by Post Hill Press/Simon Schuster/ Her TV appearances, podcasts, The Rant, on you tube, and on www.barbararosebrooker.com