Ageism Is A Scam
Right before the pandemic, I was at a book signing in LA. I started talking to this man about forty. We discussed books, writing, and other things. “What do you do?” I asked after a while.
“I’m an age coach.”
“A what?”
“I advise people how to cope with their age.”
“You make age sound like grief counseling,” I say.
“It is,” he says with a heavy sigh.
Ageism is a scam. A vocation. A talk show topic, bestseller, sitcom. Ageism exploits age. It’s a million dollar business. Instead of exploiting age, we need to promote a pro age generation where people of all ages are not defined by age: Where age is not treated as a disability, shamed, discriminated, segregated, and stereotyped. Age is a gift. We are all age experts. And we must all be age activists and fight for age justice.
When the pandemic hit, anyone over sixty struck by the virus, like Sophie’s Choice, were last i to be treated, if at all. During the racist protests, a 75-year old peaceful protestor was pushed by the police, and brought to the hospital with a brain injury. As if his age pushed him, on TV, this peaceful fit man is referred by the press as an “elder.” As if his age caused police brutality.
I’m sick of age labels, elder, senior, cougar, age appropriate. Sick of ageism as a talk show topic, bestseller, joke, or sitcom. On talk shows young authors, movie stars, celebrities, hold up their How To Age bestsellers, claiming to be age experts. Hello! There are no experts. We’re all experts. Why? Because we all age. Ageism exploits age, makes a fortune on anti-depressants, diets, clothes, technology, and products. Media Slick age activists make fortunes on their weekend how-to-age conferences, workbooks, scamming anti- age products. Twenty-four hours a day, on TV, pretty young women with faces smooth as eggs, sell slick anti-age serums, cremes, promising to erase ‘telltale signs of age,’ and promise forever youth and happiness. As a result of this absurd message, instead of celebrating age, we fear age. We hide age. Meanwhile, the drug industries, anti-age products, cosmetic procedures, make billions and the anti-age messages produce age segregation, age discrimination, stereotyping, and marginalization.
Ageism has existed for decades. The past several years age activists act like they discovered a new disease. Ageism is internalized. When I was thirty-one, a single mom and in college, I had to wear a Velcro name tag printed Re-Entry woman. At fifty I published my first novel and earned my Masters in creative writing, along with a teaching credential. To be tenured as a professor of creative writing was my dream but the department head said “You’re too old for tenure.” When I was sixty, I published Suddenly Sixty a column about ageism. I got tons of mail but was eventually fired. “We hired you to write about senior cats and plants. Seniors are in diapers not obsessing about romance and sex!” the twenty-five year editor shouted.
Each subsequent decade, I wrote about ageism in columns, books and articles. Every chance I could, I’d rant against it. But ageism was not a topic then. In my seventies, I wrote The Viagra Diaries about a 70-year-old woman looking for great sex and love. I was told by agents and publishers that no one wanted to read about an old lady having sex. When it did sell to Simon Schuster and HBO came calling, the writers changed my protagonist to thirty something, and the option fell apart. In my seventies I wrote Love, Sometimes, about the ageism in Hollywood and in the industry. At 80, I’m treated, as if it’s freaky that I’m still working. Still wanting. Still being. Even the manager of the apartment building I’ve lived in for thirty some years, suggests that I move to a place “with people your age,” he emphasizes.
I’m on zoom with Michael Borstein, an author who has a best selling How To Find Your Integrity. I met him at a zoom Meet Up For Single Authors Over Sixty. “We banned the N word, thank God,” I rant. “We have the Metoo movement. What about an AgeToo movement? We need to start enforcing a new age attitude. We need a movement. A sit in. Legislate. Age rights.”
He scoffs. He sits on a Lazy Boy leather yellow leather chair. His squat body almost disappeared in the cushions. A man bun on top of his head, like a donut.“Sexist men are content with ageism,” I continue. “You Tarzan, me Jane, attitude.”
“You wear those high heels, dress young. You’re not age appropriate,” he says after a long silence. “You’ll break a hip and then try to get a zoom date.”
I say sarcastically. “You sound like age is a curse.”
“It is.” He sniffs. “I’ve never dated a woman …your age. Usually they have walkers from broken hips, or, forgive me, bad smells.”
“You write about integrity,” I continue. “Yet you stereotype age. So how do you find integrity?”
He snorts. “By dating young.”
I click Leave Meeting.
BarbaraRoseBrooker, SF author’s latest novel Love, Sometimes, about ageism in Hollywood and the industry, published Feb 2020, Post Hill Press/Simon Schuster, is available at all bookstores and at Amazon, Target and other on line outlets.
See her 2020 TV appearances, and podcasts on www.barbararosebrooker.com
